OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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