honey bunches of taint.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
