He passed out mid-signature
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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