I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
