Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
