I love black thongs
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
