And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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