i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
farters have to be the big spoon...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
