His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
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And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You were trust falling into bushes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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