Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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