LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
