his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize