Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
