Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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