I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The air was thick with penises
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
