I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
