Reggie can tackle my bush.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
