those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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