I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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