I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
