Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
