why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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