Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
