so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
FUCK WHALES
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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