I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize