i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He? As in you personified your dick?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
