Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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