I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
