I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
