Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
