Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize