The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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