All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
