Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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