If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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