jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
