there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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