im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
