two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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