I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
