32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
