It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
