a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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