don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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