Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
