I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
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I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
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My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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