You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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