I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
