I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone shattered a urinal.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
