dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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