The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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