There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
