Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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