i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
