You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
