after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
