return my video game
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
