I CAN MOONWALK!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
there is puke in my bra ... again
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
