Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
