You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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