if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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