she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We don't watch enough power rangers
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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