YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize