dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
